surgery – Sharon O'Connor

Is Your Christmas Tree Up Yet?

by Sharon

Our pastor asked the question last Sunday at church. The sermon topic: Thankfulness. A number of people raised their hands to say, “YES!”. Others groaned.

How could anyone allow Christmas decor in November??

Novembers growing up on Spencer Avenue were dedicated to Thanksgiving. Christmas came cheerfully into focus once December arrived and not a day before. Our home even had its own Thanksgiving Tree made by mom. A tangible reminder that being thankful was its own kind of gift.

When I got married, my husband began decorating for Christmas in November. You see, he had been homeless for a time before God drew him to Christ. Christmases were a time of darkness and despair because of choices he made in his young adult life.

When Jesus Christ changed his eternal destination, the Christmas celebration took on a whole new meaning for my husband. Decorations appeared everywhere the eye could see starting in November.

One November this very week fourteen years ago almost toppled us. I came home from a week-long hospital stay with a colostomy and a cancer diagnosis. Thankfulness was a tear-filled choice. Family helped us decorate. Green wreaths and soft Christmas lights filled the space where I recovered. We caught our breath, steadied our gaze on Christ, and navigated our way, over time, back to hope.

Randy Alcorn shared this on social media recently:

God has built into us a nostalgia for the world that once was, before sin and curse and death and suffering. We are homesick for Eden, for its beauties and pleasures and health and vibrant relationships. “I long for Your salvation, O Yahweh, and your law is my delight. Let my soul live that it may praise You, and let Your judgements help me.” Psalm 119:174-175, LSB

Since the Great Family Storm of 2010, November sort of wraps us up in nostalgia, a remembrance of sorrow, thoughts of things broken and healed, a promise of peace, and a yearning for the Savior who will return and be, surely, the reality of how a happy Christmas makes us feel. Finally at home.

For the record, so far this year, three trees are decorated and brightly declaring Christmas is on the way.

Friend, if you’re homesick for less difficult days, or facing challenges that are shadowing the season, I pray that God will bless you with his kindness and love and great comforting presence as we enter this season of giving thanks.

Field Journal

“Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People…

by Sharon

… like you?”

Published August 10, 2024

You know that quote about, “Daughters are little girls that grow up to be your best friends”?

Today I went for a two mile walk along our local Rail Trail with two of my best friends. They have grown into beautiful young women whose friendship I respect and treasure. I stepped back to take a photo and watched them move ahead of me on the tree-lined path. Something in our relationship as a mother and daughters has shifted. They walk confidently ahead or beside me, instead of being led by me. It is a comfort. I enjoy being with them. I like them. More than just a little.

One of them said last week, “I’m enjoying these normal days. I don’t want them to change again.” Planned surgery is not really what any of us would have ordered for our August itinerary. And yet, we all know change is a part of life. What I don’t want to change is their enjoyment and pursuit of God.

We headed back to the car and saw a friendly acquaintance from church. Waving hello, we chatted and he kindly said, “I was just talking about you in our group at work. We were talking about why bad things can happen to good people, like you.”

I had heard this before over a decade ago when I woke up from exploratory surgery with a stage 3 cancer diagnosis and a colostomy. People who loved us wondered why, how, what was God doing? We did, too. My conclusion then has not changed. I can just say it with more certainty.

“Well, we live in a fallen world. Bad things will happen. But God is still able and in control.” We conversed a little more and then we went on our separate ways.

There is a website I find helpful on the question of why does God allow bad things to happen to good people, and it speaks to this question. Read the full article by clicking here.

The last paragraph on this web page says, “God allows things to happen for a reason. Whether or not we understand His reasons, we must remember that God is good, just, loving, and merciful (Psalm 135:3). Often, bad things happen to us that we simply cannot understand. Instead of doubting God’s goodness, our reaction should be to trust Him. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5–6). We walk by faith, not by sight.” – Excerpt from https://www.gotquestions.org/bad-things-good-people.html

Part of being ready for this upcoming surgery has been my wanting to help prepare my family, especially my daughters. I’m so very proud of the way they have stepped up, worked through tough emotions, and have stepped with me, with us, towards this next thing. Whether it’s something concerning or just surgery + recovery and moving on, we’re all trusting the God who will never, ever, change. Do you know Him?

To keep our faces toward change, and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate, is strength undefeatable. – Helen Keller

Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. James 1:16-18

Field Journal

70/30

by Sharon

Published August 5, 2024

“Well, then that makes it 70/30 towards open surgery instead of 50/50.”

Two weeks of medical tests, spikes of PTSD plus anxiety wrapped in a history of hope, and three anxiety-induced high blood pressure readings taken late July in the new surgeon’s office, were bringing us to the next step. I would be having surgery in August 2024 to remove a grapefruit-sized ovarian cyst. A mid-July CT scan confirmed the cyst, and showed an additional 1.3 cm something behind or at the edge of the cyst that needed to be identified. Thankfully, every other test came back with no indications of cancer. No tumor markers, no issues in my colon like fourteen years before. No necrotic lymph nodes shutting down a kidney like twelve years before.

So what was this new thing? Scar tissue from radiation was the most hopeful option ringing the bell in my corner. Can we just run with that? Across my mental boxing ring pranced the real possibility of a new cancer. Surgery would determine the winner.

The surgeon continued reviewing my history. We negotiated to 50/50 on whether he would find cancer or not, and 50/50 on whether he could do the surgery laparoscopic or not.

I mentioned that I’ve had radiation not once, but twice. He turned.

“Then your previous radiation and scar tissue from abdominal surgeries changes the odds. Chances for an open surgery are more like 70/30.” I blanched. More high blood pressure.

“Do you have to do open surgery?”

I had tried to bargain with my first oncologist on whether I really got cancer for a lack of chemo in my body. Any other options? At all?

The surgeon looked me straight in the eye. Fair and direct.

“If I get in there and need to do open surgery, it is because open surgery will help protect you from needing a colostomy or from possible damage to other organs.”

Let’s not do a colostomy again, please. We’ll do it however you determine when you get in there, sir.

“I understand.”

Tom and I left the office. He drove. I began making a mental list of everything I would begin doing to help my body prepare. Can we dissolve a 10 cm cyst in four weeks and clear a 1.3 cm something? Is that a thing? God did it before. Sharon, He also used medical treatment to help. “Lord?” Fine. You’ve pointed us in this direction. Surgery prep it is. Let’s go.

If you’ve read this far, hello and thank you.

My family and I have had a few weeks to move from, “This sounds horribly like dejavu – a benign appearing cyst that turns out to be cancer,” to, “Ok, this is a different thing; lots of women have ovarian cysts… we know what this is and where it is … and many women need surgery… maybe they haven’t all had radiation twice but who’s counting… and perhaps God is taking care of this thing now and getting it removed so you keep moving forward with living and healing and embracing the hope that has carried us all the past fourteen years.”

I’ve pondered about what and how to share. I mean, I had an entire blog filled with writing that helped me cope with cancer. I revamped, removed, and finally recently put this blog back together wondering what, in the world, I should blog about (ha). I’ve kept key things from previous blogs here because sometimes people will ask me and really want to know what I did that helped my own 2010-2013 cancer healing journey. There are things the cancer journey taught me – losses, wins, and truces – that I never want to forget. I also never want to go through it again. I dread another major surgery.

Does this new thing need to be shared with the world? Not sure. My emotions are complicated. Do I need and appreciate prayer? For sure. Does writing about it help me? Oh yes. What would God like through this? I don’t know, but my eyes are on Him.

Today a friend texted me to ask how I was doing. She did not know I was thinking about whether I should be writing down this latest challenge that, by all appearances, could turn out fine. A bump in the road. However the last three weeks have reminded me and my sweet family that bumps, benign or not, are capable of pulling us back to the anxiety, stress, discouragement, and reality that disease can be life changing. But so can hope be life giving. God has not changed. His love, care, and mighty help will not change. I and my family have a peace about this situation. I want others to know the God who can give peace in turmoil.

Does a new chapter about hope ever get old?

My friend, a masterful writer of encouraging posts herself, texted, “Here’s an encouragement… Only you (and the Lord) can say when it’s time if it’s time to share. If God is doing a new thing with your old story … don’t feel bad about sharing it … if you want. Someone will hear it for the first time.”

What has God given you to share about hope? Someone may need to hear it! (Including me.)

Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

Psalm 119:49-50